Last Night In Sweden

http://plume.dk/blog/?p=1718

The fence is still holding, more or less.

12/2 2017

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What would happen if you quadrupled mc?
13/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Say pump it up!
13/2 2017

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Good goat times today. Still freezig, but only just. The snow slowly receding. Alice was just about to let the goats out when I got there. For some hay in the snow. My fence fix was still up. But unfortunately the horses realised they could get past it. First Luna. Then Sille. Then Perle, who need a bit of a jump but made it over. Black Beauty was the only one who couldn’t get past it. Oh dear. Later on they went back the other way. I had to guide Perle a little with her reins. But I think the goats were relieved to have them out again. And I rebuilt the fence. Again. This time with enough obstructions to keep the horses out. Assuming it holds. We’ll see. If at first you don’t succeed, have some pizza.
13/2 2017

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Snow what I mean? and other puns.

13/2 2017

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about:pizza
13/2 2017

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Here’s Sille finishing off the last of the goats’ hay.
And in the background? Basil Fawlty voice: Call that a fence?!

13/2 2017

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My next profile pic will be me posing with the nuclear launch codes. Just have to decide whch of the goats should be eating the piece of paper with the codes on them.
13/2 2017

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My eyes can’t eye anymore. Off to dreamland. While the body battery is recharged hopefully my subconscious will be ready with my stories.
13/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. A part of us all. A part of us all.
14/2 2017

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Dream report:
I went time traveling with George Lucas.
Lots of other stuff happened. But. I thik the fact that I went time traveling with George Lucas means I have already won the dream race.
14/2 2017

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He’s bitter and twisted
He knows what he wants
He wants to be loved and he wants to belong
He wants us to listen, he wants us to weep
And he was a stupid baby who turned into a powerful freak
..
He’s a dangerous bigot, but we always forget
And he’s just like his daddy because he cheats on his friends
And he steals and he bullies anyway that he can
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(On my exercise mix today this was randomly followed by It’s The End Of The World As We Know It by REM. But I mean, it could be about anyone and anything don’t ask me)

14/2 2017

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A treat for Valentines.

14/2 2017

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Happy Valentines, Facebookerinos. Hope you have good valentimes. I have a hot date with pizza leftovers. Don’t wait up.

14/2 2017

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Off to see what dreams may bring. I am packing a heavy lunch and a light breeze. Thank you for all the valentime wishes. I feel loved, and fat. But that’s okay. Exercise is going according to plan. Working progress.
14/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

15/2 2017

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Dream report:
Lots of fascinating and emotional stuff. Which is why I got out of bed so late. Funniest thing? A thing with the Supreme Court turning into a TV show. I can only assume it was inspired by the People’s Court thing from snl. But it was like a serious SCOTUS reality show. Weird. I’m not real strong on the SCOTUS, but I don’t think any of the judges in my dream were actual real scotussers.
In another of my dreams Catherine Bell was my mother. So. There’s that.
15/2 2017

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I’m so glad they sell feelings as TV dinners now.
15/2 2017

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That thing when there’s a typo in your expensive music video.
That said, if you’re an animal activist or you just like Moby give it a spin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLG3casce7U
I really like the new record. He can be dead annoying on twitter, but I forgive him because I agree with his messages.

15/2017

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Oh here’s something I forgot to mention. I’ve seen A38 shake a couple of times, to get snow or rain off her back. But she’s hasn’t made that funny sound again. Remember that funny noise she made while shaking? I thought maybe that was just a noise she made every time she shook. But no. I guess it was a one time thing.
15/2 2017

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goatlog

15/2 2017

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Knowing how much of a trendsetter I am, I expect next winter’s big look will be “Chemical handwarmers sticking out of your scarf”. I know Lady Gaga is trying to steal my thunder, but I wore it better!

15/2 2017

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I have decided to withdraw my nomination as Director of Photography on Gigli 2: The Legend of Curly’s Coal. At this time I have no further comments, please respect my privacy.
16/2 2017

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Well, I for one am glad that I spent a couple of hours trying to find a way to embiggen youtube titles on the subscription page with CSS instead of sleeping tonight. And all the little mice who are performing a Shakespeare play on my bed agree. I know this because they wrote it on the etch-a-sketch we use to communicate with eachother. With.
16/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. The typing fingers announce it automatically, as if channeling something that is not spoken
16/2 2017

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Good goat times today. The temperatures are up a notch, around 5C/40F. So that helps. Grey with a little drizzle every now and then. Most of the snow is gone, but there are still patches here and there.
Alice was just feeding the animals as I arrived. I had a nice chat with her. We talked about the old playground. It looks like I might be getting my old bench back! And the little red house. Oh it would be perfect for A38 when it rains and she’s too scared to go inside with the big girls. How cute would it be to see that little pygmy goat in a pygmy house? And maybe we can get some of the wooden blocks too. I really hope so. Those are things I have missed. A good place for me to sit, that cute house and stuff for them to jump around on. Hooves crossed. They’ve basically told her that she can take whatever she wants from the old place. I think they might be tearing everything down there. I also learned that Dennis is not longer working there. And Nina, who some of you might remember, is stopping. I think there will pretty much be no one I know left. And no animals. Everything changes. But I’d be happy if we could get that stuff for the new place.
It’s also still the plan to build a new house for the goats. In the pen. I hope they can get a little more space. Sounds like the horses are going away for the summer vacation, and then there will be some building and redesigning going on. It’s nice to be at a place that has ressources and priorities to get things done.
Hopefully it will all come to fruition and be good.
16/2 2017

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Hey look, I finally fixed the fence properly and the job is up to my usual high stan.. okay Alice did it.

16/2 2017

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My desire to be part of the real world is dwindling, but this pizza helps.
16/2 2017

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I wonder if this will be the last snow of the season. Well, probably not. But just gotta make it to srping. Sir Ping of Camselot.

16/2 2017

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Too tired to go on. Must… rest. You guys keep going, I’ll catch up to you later. *smash cut to frozen Lasse statue*
Off to dreamwalk.
16/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Don’t stop believing.
17/2 2017

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Dream report:
Wow.
The end.
Okay, little more. Just wonderfulness. It doesn’t make much sense to try to describe it all. Other than the part where I was looking in the supermarket for A38, the breakfast product that our little Yogi goat was named after. Haha. Also one part I became aware I was dreaming and I tried to wake myself up so I screamed and screamed and then I woke up. Only later did I realise that I had woken into another dream. Dreams inside dreams. I love it. Lot of other fascinating and personal stuff. I know I go on and on about it. But I love dreaming. And I really think it’s like a dangerous drug. If it wasn’t for the goats I’d just want to stay in bed 24/7 and dream and not actually do anything. It’s addictive. The dreamworld is beautiful and magic. The real world is ugly and hateful, ruled by greed and lies. In the real world I can barely see, I can barely be around people without feeling great anxiety, I can barely do anything. In the dreamworld I can do everything. Even when it’s dark and scary it’s still exhilarating. I just want to go back to there.
See, totally the ravings of a crazy addict.
17/2 2017

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It’s funny how Mia and Mio look white as snow, until you actually see them in the snow. Then you can tell that they aren’t actually _that_ pure.

17/2 2017

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Hvad hjertet er fugl af.
17/2 2017

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goatlog

17/2 2017

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Can’t wait to see the Lords of Dance show my neighbours will be putting on. Sounds like they’ve been practicing for years.
17/2 2017

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The failing bathoom scales are spreading FAKE NEWS. Sad!
18/2 2017

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My bathroom scales are body shaming me. We have to put an end to all this cyber bullying!
18/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Hustle hustle etc.
18/2 2017

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I exercised so hard. The hardest. From where I was sitting it looked like I had biked for millions of miles. The biggest amount of miles for any exercise. Everyone was so impressed. This is what someone told me.
18/2 2017

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Mio + horse company = me + human company. Just waiting for an opportunity to get the heck out of Dodge. And preferably keep going until there’s a fence between us.

18/2 2017

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What’s the difference between Trump Tower and Fawlty Towers?
Fawlty Towers employed a foreigner.
NAILED IT. Political satire at its finest.
18/2 2017

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8:01 pm. I’m very tired. So I’m going to call it quits for the real world today. Early to bed to get a fix of the dreamspice. Please don’t envy my action packed lifestyle. Most people wouldn’t be able to handle such excitement.
18/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

19/2 2017

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Last night as I was going to bed I came up with a joke about The Winter Shawshank prison, referencing of course the so called Winter White House. But now I can’t remember the part that was supposed to make it funny. So. Make up your own punchline, please.
19/2 2017

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It’s getting muddy in herre.

19/2 2017

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I have to be honest, I’m still a little rattled about what happened last night in Sweden. They’re our good neighbours and I still have a hard time believing this. When I close my eyes I can still hear the explosions in the distance. Sad.
#NeverRemember
19/2 2017

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STOP THE PRESS. Is it stopped? Okay. I have just been informed that Bates Motel is back tomorrow. This changes everything. Final season. Okay, you can start the presses again.

19/2 2017


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I think instead of starting each day saying “Today will be a good day” I’ll start each day saying “I can’t believe what happened last night in Sweden” and then post some crazy link.
Or a series of videos that starts out with a sign saying “Last night in Sweden” and then cuts to random, crazy movie scenes. Like the bridge exploding in True Lies.
Well, back to work on my screenplay Last Night In Sweden, in which we follow the lives of 5 strangers in Sweden on the night before the Earth is scheduled to be destroyed by an incoming asteroid.
19/2 2017

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Okay, okay. I’ll tell you how I got this tattoo of a praying mantis on my forehead. So, last night in Sweden…
19/2 2017

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It’s…

19/2 2017

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Marty: You’re not going to believe this, but we gotta go back to last night in Sweden!
Doc: I don’t believe it!
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A short scene from my new feature film Back To The Last Night In Sweden.
Okay, now I’m getting tired of it.
19/2 2017

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Haha. I posted my John Cleese viking picture on twitter. And now someone has tweeted it at Trump. So if you never see me again, just assume the Secret Service has come to pick me up.
OKAY SPILL THE BEANS WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT IN SWEDEN?!
19/2 2017

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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

Snowshoes

http://plume.dk/blog/?p=1717

Half of my newsfeed: These halftime shows are too long and Lady Gaga is horrible.
Other half of my newsfeed: Wow I love this halftime show and Lady Gaga aced it!
Me: *watches Baskets*
6/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Serenity now!
6/2 2017

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Good goat times today. I was wondering if I would be greeted by a snowed world when I went outside, as the forecast had mention the possibility. But there was none. Only a few snowflakes here or there gently making their way down as I walked to the goats. Nothing to write home about.
Looks like my little homemade fence has held up. At least the most important parts of it. As Sille and Luna stood at it and looked longingly into the goat pen. Reaching down and eating a little grass from the part that they could reach. But not able to get past the fence. Got a compliment from Ophelia about it. Or, at least she mentioned she’d seen me work on it and that it still held. Later on I helped her with one of the horses. She was putting a saddle on Perle, for hte traditional Monday riding. I guess Perle doesn’t really like being strapped in, but she takes it better if someone hold her head while it happens. So I stood and held her head and rubbed her face (Perle’s face, not Ophelia’s. Shut up) while Ophelia got her ready. Nice to be of use. It’s funny how I’ve gone from feeling I was practically the main person taking care of the goats (even if I wasn’t really) to just being a visitor here. It’s nice that everything is taken care of and I just have to worry about enjoying the company of the goats. But it’s also nice being helpful.
A group of kids came by. I’ve seen them before. It might be a daycare or something like that. A women who I’ve slightly spoken to before came over and asked where Mulle was. They usually come early in the morning, so I guess they haven’t had a chance to talk to staff. So I had to tell her that Mulle had left. The kids were a little sad about that. I think I saw them talking to Black Beauty when I arrived, though.
Good treats and cuddle time with everyone too. Not too shabby.
6/2 2017

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Yeah, no he fixed it. Do you know how to work a saw?

6/2 2017

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Hey hey goats goats

6/2 2017

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Melissa McCarthy calls all the shots.
6/2 2017

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Okay, can’t awake anymore. Too tired. I’m going to go explore the dreamworld. If you want to join me then remember to say the password “Soylent cheese is pizza” so I’ll know you’re not a hostile.
6/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Every day is a chance to make it so.
7/2 2017

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Give me love, give me peace on Earth. Give me hope, give me something to hold on to. Give me strength and something to believe in.

7/2 2017

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Goat goat hey hey

7/2 2017

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Here are the two sweeties, Black Beauty and A38. I’d totally watch a buddy film with those two.
(Can you tell I’m trying to make up for that long poltiical rant the other day?)

7/2 2017

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“The White House list may have been hastily prepared as it misspelled ‘Denmark’ as ‘Denmakr'””
Sheesh. You’re going to use us in your Fake News propaganda, at least get our name right.
Or, at least spell it Dankmark.
7/2 2017

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*points to the things and screams quietly*
7/2 2017

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How long would it take to write a program in BASIC on my C64 to open a wormhole into the Chocolate Dimension?
7/2 2017

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We’re going to need a second swamp aren’t we?
7/2 2017

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Okay, I’m done for today. If you want me I’ll be in the Mashed Potatoes Pit, wrestling against giant gummi bears. Probably.
7/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

8/2017

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It’s so cold. Winter has struck. I’m going to need some elderberry soup. Maybe to bathe in. Just as long as my cannibal friends don’t accidentally turn up the heat under this lovely bathing cauldron they’ve given me.
8/2 2017

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goatlog part 1

goatlog part 2

8/2 2017

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If you love someone let them go. Although if you really loved me you wouldn’t have put me in these handcuffs in the first place.
8/2 2017

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the working life of the gazelle.
8/2 2017

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Thanks for breaking up the tension

8/2 2017

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“The heart watches while the brain burns”. Good line.
8/2 2017

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If life gives you lemons then squeeze some lemon juice into your half empty glass and hey, everything worked out fine, pass the pizza.
8/2 2017

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I’d like to officially confirm my candidacy. Yes, the rumours are true. I’m running for offica as World’s Best Fat B*st*rd impersonator. Wish me luck.
8/2 2017

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*mimes being trapped in a box slowly filling with water, water full of piranhas*
This has been act 1 of my new play: The World Today
9/2 2017

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*mimes ‘today will be a good day’*
9/2 2017

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Good goat times today. And yes, it’s a snowday. The first real, full snowday this winter. Previously it’s only been half’n’half. But this was full snow mode. Cold, of course. I tried a new trick, though. I took a pair of the chemical warmers that I normally use in my gloves, and sometimes shoes, and stuck them in my scarf that I wear under my coat. That warmed up my chin(s) and cheeks. It actually felt really good. Still cold when there was wind, but I think I’ll keep doing that when it’s freezing at least.
I thought I’d be the first one there today. I was kinda hoping to be the one to let out the goats and see them enter the snow. But those hopes were dashed when I heard Mia hollering at the sight of me. Even louder than usual, I think. Good times with the gang in the snow. The fence is still holding. The mud is of course all frozen over. And everyone enjoyed the treats even more than usual. Not much food to find now. Although Mia and Mio did dig their way to some old hay beneath the snow.
Funniest moment came when I went for a little walk across the pasture with Mia. We got about halfways and then I quickly turned around and started walking back. As I exoected Mia turn and started running back next to me. And then she let out a cough and a fart at the same time. Oh dear. I couldn’t help but laugh, because I’m five. I hope the camera picked it up.
9/2 2017

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It’s beginning to look a lot like… well, like snow. It snowed.

9/2 2017

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Frozen. Starrring me.

9/2 2017

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Ooh, pizza!
Time to celebrate the big holiday. I think I’ve gotten more happy wishes about Pizza Day then I’ll get on my birthday.
link: Baskets pizza video
9/2 2017

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I am always reminded of the old gypsy couple when I feel this cold.
The woods and the darknes.. And the howling wind. Will the snows never cease?
Day 1. Urge to use apartment as kindling rising.

9/2 2017

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Well, this should offend some people. Fingers crossed.

9/2 2017

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I’m so cold and it’s tired. Time to hide away under the wellness quilt. Maybe I’ll come out tomorrow and see if I can spot my own shadow. Or a pizza.
9/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. We’ll find strength in our unity.
10/2 2017

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#letitsnow

10/2 2017

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Bowie songs in Brazlilian. I have no idea if Bowie fans will be offended haha. I was struck by how amazing Life On Mars is even when I don’t understand the words. What a song.

10/2 2017

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I almost didn’t make it out of bed today. The real world is so cold and boring and I can’t see and everything is wrong. Under my wellness quilt it’s warm and snug and in dreamworld I can see perfectly and everything I see is interesting and exciting. One of these days I’m not going to make it, I’ll stay in bed for 24 hours. I guarantee.
Funny thing from my dreams last night: I was in my old room when I lived at home. And I noticed my computer wasn’t there. So I thought “this must be a dream”. But then I looked at the side of my desk and there was my computer, it had fallen down. It couldn’t actually have falled like that in real life, but in the dream I thought “Oh tehre it is, I guess this isn’t a dream”. Almost like the dream was course correcting to keep up its internal integrity to fool me into thinking it wasn’t a dream. Fascinating.
10/2 2017

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Looks like the ban on elderberry soup was ruled unconstitutional. I better cook up a pot to celebrate. SEE YOU IN MAH BELLY.
10/2 2017

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Is this the lime hotline? Yes, how do I get the lime out of the coconut please?
10/2 2017

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Snow falls on A38.

10/2 2017

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Can’t we all just get along… pizza. A really long one. And wide. Long and wide. And deep.
10/2 2017

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*points accusingly at all the things*
11/2 2017

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It’s 4:12 am on a Friday night, just listening to C64 music and editing goat videos. When did I become the prototype of normality? Just like everyone, that’s me.
11/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Step by step day by day.
11/2 2017

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I kinda miss the days when the idea of the President of the Uited States of America calling a senator ‘Pocahontas’ would seem unbelievable.
Just a little.
One goat photo coming up, after exercising. If I live.
11/2 2017

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When you find that thing that makes you smile, you just keep going for it. You’re on the right path.

11/2 2017

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‘I am very very happy, so come on and hurt me’.
This one worked surprisingly well for an exercise song. There are two types of songs that work well for me when exercising. The kind of fast and energetic. But the also the painful, emotional ones. Like this one. If a song provokes a strong emotional response then it kinda of takes some of the attention away from the physical pain. This song rarely fails to provoke an emotional reaction from me.

11/2 2017

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How cold is it?
Sofa King cold.

11/2 2017

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I’m at the point where I literally can’t keep my eyes open. Better retire to the boudoir for an early night. It’s 7:30 pm. SocialMediaGrandpa needs his 12 hours or he just can’t write statuses about himself on the Facebox you kids get off my law or I’ll send the witch trials after you.
*points at bed, points at self* one and the same. One and the same.
11/2 2017

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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

12/2 2017

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Here’s a dream report from last night.
I dreamt we got goat babies! Three of them. Except it turned out they weren’t little babies, they were about the size of a 6 month old goat. Go figure. But also Kamel and Peanut were there. So that was jolly nice.
I feel like my dreams lately have been getting more and more like movies, with strong narratives and plot cohesion. I may just be pulling that out of my ash. Or maybe it’s always been like that and I’m just noticing it more because I’m making a conscious effort to dream more. The other day I joked about going to bed to train my dream muscles. But now I’m wondering if maybe dreaming more actually might make your subconsciousness a… better storyteller? That would be interesting.
One thing I noticed was that I had a couple of dreams where there was this location.. the details are hard to explain and not that important, but the point is in several dreams I had the impression that this was some kind of post apocalyptic place. Sort of like The Walkig Dead after the zombie outbreak. But the later I had a new dream where this location appeared and it was in a ‘normal’ setting. It was like a reveal, that this place wasn’t what I had thought it was. It reminded me of how Lost used to do that. Delayed audience comprehension. You see Desmond and you think it’s some guy in an apartment or something but then you realise oh ship, that guy is in the hatch. Or the episode with Jin and Sun where you think you’re seeing Jin racing to get to Sun who’s about to have their baby. Only late into it do you realise they’re two seperate storylines and in Sun’s story Jin is already dead. SPOILER ALERT. Anyway, I just thought that was interesting. It feels like my subconsciousness is using these kind of narrative devices. And I love it.
So anyway. I do ramble on.
12/2 2017

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The Star Wars satellite tower in the background.

12/2 2017

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The Slaughter at Fraggle Rock.
I’m just thankful I didn’t have a mouthful of elderberry soup.
Which I’m about to rectify.
12/2 2017

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goatlog

12/2 2017

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Here’s a dramatic re-enactment of me eating a pizza.
[MEDIA CONTENT BLOCKED BY FACEBOOK DUE TO SEVERE VIOLENCE AND APPARENT MENTAL ANGUISH]
12/2 2017

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End of Facebook. Begin goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next.